Joy In Sorrow

Tears soak into my pillow,

Weeping in the middle of the night,

Exhausted,

Broken,

The all consuming emptiness of a loss

No one knew about.

I've stopped asking why.

All it does is remind me

Of the silence in my soul.

But I have learned

That the silence is not

Abandonment

Rejection

Or even bitter.

It is a place

Where complete dependence

Rescues me

From what could have been

And drives me toward

Hope.

Sorrow and joy

Can exist together

For my joy,

My hope,

My everything

Come not from today

But from the One

Who gave me today.

I mourn

But I am not

Crushed.