Since knowing what to write is often the first barrier for me when I sit down to write, I decided to start having a weekly schedule of topics for the blog. I hope that in addition to setting my mind in one direction it will also help you know what to expect.
I intentionally set one day apart to be the catchall day. The day where I could write anything that didn’t fit with the other days, which if you are wondering are listed at the end of this post. Unfortunately, the first Miscellaneous Monday was a rather long day for me and my mind just wants to rest. It makes coming up with a random topic difficult.
I know Monday may not have been my best day for the random topics; Mondays are exhausting. But any day can be exhausting. And Monday doesn’t have to be terrible just because it’s Monday. It just happened that this particular Monday really hit me hard. I’m trying to be content… maybe that’s not the right word. Present. That might fit better. I want to be present in my days as they are now even though I know they are soon to end and I will be able to move on to the next phase of life. I’m really excited about the next thing for many reasons. That is wonderful to have, but it’s also hard to stay present here and now when that future is so close.
Today seemed to be much more up and down in the battle than an average day. I struggled to pull myself out of bed, away from the breakfast table, even out of the car when I got to work this morning. I wanted to throw in the towel and run back home. It wasn’t a great start. Then I actually had a pretty good day at work. It certainly wasn’t anything to do with how excited I was about it. I was ready to go home at any moment. But God was kind and gracious to allow me some easy circumstances to rejoice in. Then the end of the day came and things piled up again and I just wanted to go home. It wasn’t a great end to the work day. When I got home, I was stressed. I forgot to pull meat out the freezer last night so I couldn’t make what I planned for our dinner. I haven’t finished the dishes in days. I’ve gotten most of them done and then just had to stop and take a break, so I saw them sitting on the counter and wanted to cry. I felt like a failure. But then dinner started to come together and David and I went on a walk. Dinner was really tasty and we had a good few hours of being best friends, happy to just be able to spend some time together. The dishes could wait. So could the laundry. And hanging up the stack of sweaters that accumulates when we go through a cold snap and I just get home and trudge into the bedroom with no more energy.
It’s amazing how just the right word, just the right moment can take the burdens of the day and toss them out of sight. It’s also amazing how the wrong word or the hard moment can take us down. I think I notice the shifts more on days like today where I know I have a short work week and only a few weeks left in this place. It’s a lot easier to get my priorities out of whack because there is something to look forward to and it can take me away from the moment. When something reminds me I’m actually still here and need to pay attention, it can annoy me. When I can focus on the things to come, I am more easily calmed. But neither one deserves my full attention nor brings true joy, contentment, peace. It all pales in comparison to the One who deserves all my devotion.
When I push aside the cares of today and the excitement of tomorrow, it isn’t enough. But when I do that and look wholly at Christ, I am able to truly rest in His grace, mercy, truth, sovereignty. I know who I am, how small the cares of today really are, and how big the God I serve is. That right focus makes all the difference in not letting the little things turn into big things. It’s not that I don’t notice those things anymore or that it’s impossible to knock me down, but it takes a lot more to overwhelm me because I realize that it’s not about me. It’s how Monday can be less Monday. It can just be a really random day!
And before you get too worried that I won’t tell you the schedule… Here’s what you can expect:
Snapshots of Grief
Truths About Trauma
Writing It Out
About the Author