I’ve heard it said that the only constant is change, and for David and I the past few years have been the definition of that. We’ve moved more times than we can count; we’ve switched jobs multiple times; we’ve started and finished college; we’ve gotten married. The list could honestly go on for quite a while. Some of the changes have been abrupt and painful; some have been planned and exciting. All of them have involved their stresses.
I am a bit of an oddball in that I enjoy change. I get bored if everything stays the same all the time. But I will admit that the constant major changes of the past few years have been difficult. One thing I have learned though is to appreciate very deeply the fact that God never changes. He is constant.
In the midst of the swirling chaos of the past couple years, I had moments where I felt like everything was out of control. The truth was that everything was out of my control but not out of God’s control. He knew what was going on; He knew where everything was headed. Nothing took Him by surprise and none of it changed His direction. He wasn’t wondering what to do or what the right next step would be.
It was exactly that certainty which kept me going. On the hardest day, when I could barely breathe, I could cling to the knowledge that God was still good; He still knew what was going on; He was still in control. Nothing was shaking Him. In the midst of the greatest hurt of my life thus far, I was not abandoned nor without hope.
I hear often, “Your religion is a crutch.” There is much about that statement that I would dispute, but in terms of my faith in God being a crutch… I would suggest that we all rely on something when going through hard times. Some rely on other people. Some on drugs and alcohol. Some on food. Some on sleep. We are designed with a hole that demands to be filled. I fervently believed before the chaos of the past few years that God was the only way to fill that hole, but now I have seen that reality at work. Eating chocolate, drinking coffee, and crying to friends may have provided temporary, fleeting relief. Only my relationship with God continually sustained me and gave me peace in the storm, hope in the midst of despair, and joy when I felt like I was being crushed.
My hope, my life, my everything is wrapped up not in my wonderful husband, my beautiful home, or any perceived success in my life. It is contained and sustained in this one thought:
Life changes. God does not.