As I wrote yesterday, Monday was a difficult day in terms of dealing with grief. It really sapped my energy for a couple days. I didn’t know how I was going to handle it. On my own, I couldn’t have. But there’s a wonderful aspect of marriage that really made it possible to survive. Partnership.
In a good partnership, both partners contribute and when one is weak in an area, the other takes up the slack to the best of their ability.
It should be obvious just from that simple explanation why partnership is an energizer. Two people working together to overcome barriers is a beautiful thing. But in case that explanation didn’t quite cut it, let’s dig a little deeper into what partnership does.
An example: Monday, I needed to get quite a bit done around the house as well as run several errands. This is normally kind of an exhausting prospect anyway, but to do it while I was having a rough day with grief felt like carting around an elephant and still trying to get my normal Monday taken care of. I decided to get the errands done first and then tackle as much of the work at home as I could when I got there.
When I arrived home, David had done quite a bit of what needed done around the house. He shrugged it off, but his partnership in these tasks was just what I needed to be able to do the rest of what needed done. Yesterday, he continued to do some of those things. I couldn’t have done it on my own. And I remember the days where I had to. A lot didn’t get done that it was hard for me to ignore. But I didn’t have the partnership I have now.
And that brings me to a very important point… Different partnerships do different things for us. And different people have different needs. Previous friendships have involved various aspects of partnership that were what I needed at that time. They were never the same as the partnership of marriage, which I have found to be the most complete and energizing partnership, but they still brought camaraderie and a different sense of togetherness than other friendships.
Partnership requires two (or more) people working toward the same goal. Not all friendships are geared toward meeting a goal together. The synergy that comes into play when there is a mutual goal, however, is quite effective. It leads both to reach greater potential than either could on their own.
Having someone come alongside you and work with you to achieve something is great not just because you can accomplish what you set out to do, but it also allows for personal growth in a very special way. A partner not only helps you manage in the midst of your weakness but also helps you overcome at least some aspect of that weakness.
Maybe the problem is that you are weak in a particular area but you would rather not have help in that area. In partnership, if that weakness impacts reaching your goal at all, your partner will not only be aware of the weakness but will also be a help in it in some way. You may not get rid of the weakness, but you can learn how to accept help in that area.
Knowing you aren’t alone in whatever battle you are facing makes it more bearable to fight the battle. Having a battle buddy means someone has your back; it’s much easier to keep pressing on when you have someone to lean against, even if that means you are holding each other up. Doesn’t mean it’s going to be pleasant, just means you have more energy to endure than you would on your own.