The problem with To Do List religion… well, one of the problems… is that when a person lives that way, not only are they unable to really fulfill the to do list, but if they do, if they think they have gotten close, they soon find that someone else has more for them to do. The rules change.
Embrace moments of joy, hold them close, let them come. They are as unexpected as the tsunami waves of grief which bowl us over, but they help to balance out those times. They give us something to cling to when we feel like we are drowning in pain.